Couples of the world rejoice—a truce can be made in the War of the Toilet Seat! The question “Should the lid be left up or down?” is no longer relevant, thanks to the wonders of technology. The Neorest by Toto is essentially a smart toilet. The lid automatically opens when a person approaches; after business is taken care of, the lid automatically closes and the toilet will flush. But wait—it gets SO much better. The toilet also knows the nature of the business, and adjusts the size of the flush accordingly—when both the lid and seat have been up for more than 6 seconds, Neorest engages its its 1.2 gallon “Light Flush” (as opposed to 1.6 gallons). Other features include a bidet-like washlet warm-water cleaning action that allows you to choose between a front-to-back aerated spray or an oscillating massage, all at a water temperature that you can control. Not convinced? The seat is heated. Still not? There’s a wireless LCD panel remote control. Getting there? How about a Catalytic Air Purifier function that engages after the user rises from the seat, eliminating unpleasant odors? The Neorest comes in two sizes and three colors, all smart and costing around $3200. Warning to mental midgets: Neorest may bring on feelings of inferiority. All others should read a book while using Neorest to impress it.